One set of Tracks on the Trail

The wild palm flowers you like are in bloom again, I brought you some.
I wanted to tell you..well I ended my relationship with the Regent...I
couldn't continue, Loa save me I tried but the differences were too great.
She is a creature of the City, fine clothing, social...all the things I am
not, I am a creature of the Jungle, wild, untamed..and I could feel the cage coming
down on me, a cage of my own creation. Day by day I began to see my life as
if I watched from afar, disconnected from my true feelings, more like a witness
to the events of my life and not a participant. I overheard a conversation where
two people discussed us, and refered to me as the "Regent's man", ME!? Someone's
man? I am no person's man, I am Zon'Krul and I am not to be owned like property
or reduced to a piece of property. She never treated me thus...but that matters
little, when one begins to feel as such. I'm afraid Tiger burns deeply within me, he dictates
my path and that path once has returned to a solitary one. My desire to not be alone,
pressed and hurried me towards something that was never meant to be, blinded me to
differences that should have stopped me. I was a fool.

Only you truly understood me my love, forgave me for the eccentricities that made up
your Stubborn Proud mate...but as I speak these words my heart is gripped tight by
a fear that I have unduly hurt her. She is a kind woman, loving, Loa know she tried
to care for me, but ultimately we were like two souls awash in the Ocean, clinging to what
we could hold onto...but slipping from one another like claws seeking purchase on stone.
I can scarcely look at her now, so ashamed am I at what has happened, how we ended it. It was nothate it was not venom, it was sadness, and the end of what might have been, I should have
told her, made her see what my soul desperately wanted to explain, but I could not..Tiger is
brave but he lacks the capacity to speak what is in his heart. Perhaps for her it will be easier
if she hates, if she despises, for it will replace confusion and hurt, many times have I shoved
those who seek to care for me away...not for their faults but for my own. I do not know how to
belong to anyone as you learned my love, and only the Loa know how you managed to hold onto
me for as long as you did.

I seldom spend time with the Tribe now, prefering to keep to the Hills overlooking the Tribal home, I feel more at home there, at ease in my solitude. I watch over them as they play, rest and love, that is what I am best suited to I think. Once again Tiger walks the path alone, with a heavy heart burdened by regret and loss, as each day passes I pray...Loa forgive...pray the beast comes to numb my mind, replace my pain with rage and spare me from my one weakness..my heart.

The Spear Darkened

Hello my Mate, as you can see i've added another scalp to my spear, this one brings a sad note with it...which I will explain in a little bit. If you remember When I was younger I told you, like my father I would add a scalp to my weapon for each signifigant kill in my life. You will notice those who murdered you hang from the haft..now so too this new scalp shall remain until I pass it to our eldest son when I leave this world. I have mentioned an elven woman, a friend...or who I thought was a friend, to you in the past..Goldsun. She was a healer and I spent many battles at her side, I entrusted my life to her and believed her to be a trustworthy woman. The Tribe discovered she was involved in some kind of cult, that had kidnapped one of our Tribemates...the Ranger Westel and nearly killed him. The Tribe executed her last week...and the entire situation has been weighing heavily on my shoulders. I have had to learn many difficult lessons in this life, death, loss and now betrayal..I do not know how one who spent her days healing her companions could at night slither forth and plot their demise. I could easily blame this on her being an elf...but it would seem all races are capable of betrayal.
When she died I stood above her broken body and spoke to her, spoke to Bwonsamdi and cut her scalp from her head. Several tribemates witnessed this action, and my words over her after. Their looks told me they were disgusted with my actions, and I do believe some of them think I am the beast that I struggle daily to contain. My brother in arms Atal understood my actions, as he nodded to me as I performed the ritual....it...it was all I could think to do for her. Despite her betrayal she was my friend and I did not wish to simply let it end thus.

I performed an old ritual the Hexxer Razimon had shown me..the sundering of evil. I cursed her body and aura to rot on the spot she fell, a warning to all who come upon her bones in the future. Her spirit I bound to the scalp tied to my Spear. I believe her sin, can be forgiven in time, and with her soul tied to my weapon her name, her spirit can fight for our Tribe, through my actions her soul can right the wrongs she has done, and serve the tribe still. The blood of our foes will soak her scalp and when enough have fallen, when enough have been felled by our combined strength, I will put her to rest and ask the Loa to release her. This I believe to be a far kinder fate...than that which awaited her.

The tribe does not understand this..I saw it in their eyes and heard it in their gasps, they do not understand the way of the Darkspear, or the final peace that Bwonsamdi offers...and perhaps it is best they fear me for my actions. The fetish tied to my spear hangs as notice to our tribe as well, that my Spear will draw blood from the enemies of the tribe, external and internal. However as I sit here...with the spear in hand, my heart is sadened that this had to happen. I watch more and talk less these days, I wonder who else among my adopted family will slither forth in the night. I smell the stink of darkness on several of them...and I have been watching them....closely. They would not believe how close death follows at their heels...breathing his hot breath at their back...so I sit in the darkness and wonder...who else will I have to bury on that hill...

Trouble has Green Eyes

Oh my mate I feel as if I have failed you...again. I need not speak her name for if you can see into my heart you know it well by now, but I fear I am in no small amount of trouble with this woman. It seemed so simple at first, the attraction..it sort of just happened and you know your Mate well enough to know when my passions are drawn on...all the demons in hell could not stop me. I was safe knowing it was mere lust that drove us to do...what we did...but now things have changed. Her eyes tell me a different tale now, they look upon me as yours once did...and when it happens I feel as if my insides were being set ablaze. I feel that every moment spent in her arms, in her bed is another torturous moment of betrayal to you. I know you have passed to the spirit world, but my heart is as much yours today as it was the first day I saw you. I do not know what to do, I am so confounded by love, lust and confusion my body, heart and soul are running in three separate directions. Most nights I sit in our home and look at lovers embracing in the darkness in the huts around ours, I hear their whispers and I try to pretend I can not. I'm tired of being alone, I'm weary of the emptiness that I feel when I lay on the mat we once shared. I wish I could hear your voice, your words...please tell me what I should do...please.

The Blood Runs Hot

I know the hour is late, but I felt as if I needed to speak of this. I lost control today, lost control of my temper and let the beast take me again. I traveled through the Barrens on an errand and came upon two Humans attempting to kill a Lone Tauren ranger. I do not know what preceded this, or even the Tauren's Name, only that something inside me snapped...something I have long tried to suppress..the claws came out before I had even a chance to contemplate my actions. When I next came to my senses I lay among the broken and torn bodies of the Humans...I had been...feeding on them. I looked to the Tauren who stood trembling, I saw her look...fear..revulsion at me...me her savior, some savior. I could not bear her look a moment more so I ran to the sea and plunged myself into it to wash the gore from my body, or perhaps from my soul I do not know which. I do know I can not...will not become that...creature again, my claws have swam in seas of blood and some nights I wash my hands till they are raw...but I can not get the stain off them. If anything is to be left of the man you once loved, I ask your help..lend me your strength to keep from becoming the beast that even now lives in my blood. I can feel his hot breath on my neck, his claws dance along my flesh and when I look into the water it is his eyes I see reflected back at me.

The Rains Have Come

As I sit here and speak the Rain is coming down, splashing off the rocks near my head. It's a good Omen I think, the rains always were your favorite. I know I've been coming here to speak to you for..what seems like an eternity now, and to feel something of you left here in this place gives me comfort. I have some good news, our Daughter has gone off to seek out your sister, she wishes to learn the ways of the Elements. I was pleased to see her follow in her mother's footsteps. She has grown into such a fine young woman, strong, determined and fierce, much as you are...were. She is so handy with weapons at this point, that she frightens the boys in the village with her skill. You, we should be proud our child has grown well, and will make us proud Loa providing.