One set of Tracks on the Trail

The wild palm flowers you like are in bloom again, I brought you some.
I wanted to tell you..well I ended my relationship with the Regent...I
couldn't continue, Loa save me I tried but the differences were too great.
She is a creature of the City, fine clothing, social...all the things I am
not, I am a creature of the Jungle, wild, untamed..and I could feel the cage coming
down on me, a cage of my own creation. Day by day I began to see my life as
if I watched from afar, disconnected from my true feelings, more like a witness
to the events of my life and not a participant. I overheard a conversation where
two people discussed us, and refered to me as the "Regent's man", ME!? Someone's
man? I am no person's man, I am Zon'Krul and I am not to be owned like property
or reduced to a piece of property. She never treated me thus...but that matters
little, when one begins to feel as such. I'm afraid Tiger burns deeply within me, he dictates
my path and that path once has returned to a solitary one. My desire to not be alone,
pressed and hurried me towards something that was never meant to be, blinded me to
differences that should have stopped me. I was a fool.

Only you truly understood me my love, forgave me for the eccentricities that made up
your Stubborn Proud mate...but as I speak these words my heart is gripped tight by
a fear that I have unduly hurt her. She is a kind woman, loving, Loa know she tried
to care for me, but ultimately we were like two souls awash in the Ocean, clinging to what
we could hold onto...but slipping from one another like claws seeking purchase on stone.
I can scarcely look at her now, so ashamed am I at what has happened, how we ended it. It was nothate it was not venom, it was sadness, and the end of what might have been, I should have
told her, made her see what my soul desperately wanted to explain, but I could not..Tiger is
brave but he lacks the capacity to speak what is in his heart. Perhaps for her it will be easier
if she hates, if she despises, for it will replace confusion and hurt, many times have I shoved
those who seek to care for me away...not for their faults but for my own. I do not know how to
belong to anyone as you learned my love, and only the Loa know how you managed to hold onto
me for as long as you did.

I seldom spend time with the Tribe now, prefering to keep to the Hills overlooking the Tribal home, I feel more at home there, at ease in my solitude. I watch over them as they play, rest and love, that is what I am best suited to I think. Once again Tiger walks the path alone, with a heavy heart burdened by regret and loss, as each day passes I pray...Loa forgive...pray the beast comes to numb my mind, replace my pain with rage and spare me from my one weakness..my heart.