Trouble has Green Eyes

Oh my mate I feel as if I have failed you...again. I need not speak her name for if you can see into my heart you know it well by now, but I fear I am in no small amount of trouble with this woman. It seemed so simple at first, the attraction..it sort of just happened and you know your Mate well enough to know when my passions are drawn on...all the demons in hell could not stop me. I was safe knowing it was mere lust that drove us to do...what we did...but now things have changed. Her eyes tell me a different tale now, they look upon me as yours once did...and when it happens I feel as if my insides were being set ablaze. I feel that every moment spent in her arms, in her bed is another torturous moment of betrayal to you. I know you have passed to the spirit world, but my heart is as much yours today as it was the first day I saw you. I do not know what to do, I am so confounded by love, lust and confusion my body, heart and soul are running in three separate directions. Most nights I sit in our home and look at lovers embracing in the darkness in the huts around ours, I hear their whispers and I try to pretend I can not. I'm tired of being alone, I'm weary of the emptiness that I feel when I lay on the mat we once shared. I wish I could hear your voice, your words...please tell me what I should do...please.